Feeling Sentimental

Isn't it crazy how something so little can bring forward a whirlpool of memories. Something you were taking in at one time and may not have even realized it? Well that just happened to me.

I am sitting here avoiding thinking about all the school work I should be doing and browsing through Facebook. One of my friends recently took a quiz determining which One Tree Hill character they were most like. I LOVE One Tree Hill and used to watch it ALL the time, so I decided to take the quiz.

Before taking the quiz there is a link they ask you to press to set the mood. So, I click the link and the theme song to One Tree Hill, I Don't Wanna Be by Gavin DeGraw begins to play. Now, I know I used to be obsessed with One Tree Hill and watch it all the time, but I couldn't quite place my finger on the time period. However, when I heard this song it all came rushing back to me. When I was pregnant and not doing too much extracurricular activities other than going back and fourth to school, I went on a Netflix binge. I started One Tree Hill from season one and watched almost everyday until I had my son.

I remember rubbing my belly and talking to Isaiah while watching this show. Falling in love with characters on the show, finding that I could relate to these characters and their problems and making promises to my unborn child. I know it sounds crazy, but all the memories that came rushing back to me when I heard this song really hit me because they were all memories of me being pregnant. Not all of them had to do with the show. I thought about the situation I was in, the house I lived in, the people I was surrounded by, and the people that supported me.

My pregnancy was not the easiest thing I have ever been through. It was unexpected and many people were disappointed in me. I am really thankful for the people that stuck by me and kept my spirits up! But at the end of really long days One Tree Hill was my escape. I got lost in the character's lives and problems. I spent time laughing and crying with my unborn son. When he was born and things got easier (but more hectic), I stopped watching One Tree Hill.

Anyway, hearing that song just made me think about a lot of things, and mostly about that intense bond I felt when Isaiah was still in my belly. I catch myself missing that bond sometimes. Don't get me wrong I am so glad he's here! Just sometimes I miss just having him so close and talking to him. I find it really hard to explain, but I hear a lot of mothers express feeling this way. Now my son is approaching two and I find myself lucky if I can get him to sit still and let me hold and talk to him for 15 minutes!

That's all I have for tonight. I'll probably go watch One Tree Hill on Netflix now! HA!
Goodnight y'all.